The Long Road to Headmaster

I began my illustrious career in high school, working at the local Knights of Columbus. Catholic drinking clubs - gotta love that. After school each day, I'd walk the mile or so over to the KofC hall. My job was to clean up from the previous night's festivities, which generally involved lots of eating, drinking, smoking and billiards. (my job, that is, not the festivities - they were much worse) One of the tasks with which I was entrusted was restocking all the liquor.

You know, I generally don't use emoticons in my blog, but...


DAAAAAAAAMN!!!

I actually had a set of keys to the hall and the adjoining warehouse, which contained the liquor closet and dozens of kegs of beer. It also contained cartons upon cartons of cigarettes, and perhaps the largest selection of snacks and candies I have ever seen. And did I mention that I had a set of keys? And a car? And lots of friends?

I worked for my dad, who was the President of the club at the time. The thought of working for your dad invokes images of shared experiences, after-hours bonding and lots of time together. Or... not. In my case, not so much. It was veeeerrry tense. I mean, since he'd actually gotten me the job, the slightest slip-up on my part would mean shame and embarassment for him.

Uh, sorry 'bout that, Dad. heh, heh. I will eventually pay for all the damage.


So after what we'll call the "incident", I got a job at a local grocery store. My pay instantly doubled, and I had access to the second largest liquor, snack and candy stockpile I've ever seen. Not a bad trade-off. And since I worked some all-nighters, I had a set of keys to the store. Fortunately, I'd learned a valuable lesson from my previous experience. Never, ever invite friends.

I worked there for 10 years, until I was 27 years old, eventually reaching the lofty status of Assistant Store Manager. The glory was somewhat dimmed, however, by the fact that I had to wear a vest and a name badge. But hey, you take what you can get.


When the chain moved to New Jersey, I was in a panic for what to do. A friend suggested I come with him to take a programming entry test at the Computer Learning Center. And WOW, I passed! (buzz kill - shortly after graduation, I went to work as an instructor at said institution, and discovered the only thing the test is used for is to determine your ability to pay tuition).

For the next year I worked my regular full-time schedule of 48 hours per week (more if I could get them), and went to school nights and weekends. I absolutely loved it. One of the favorite times of my life. For one who'd only dreamed of college, this was close enough. At graduation, my instructor offered me a position at the actuarial firm where he worked his day job. He also got me the teaching gig back at the Computer Learning Center. I guess I must have done something right! A short time later, he came out of the closet in a BIG way, and professed his love for me. >>a-w-k-w-a-r-d<< Ok, so I realized that maybe I hadn't been the smartest person in my class after all.

Anyway, I worked there, in downtown DC, for 10 years, until I was 39. I became a project manager, but fell short of my goal to become a full consultant (actuarial term for "Partner", but without the high pay, equity stake, prestigious status, voting rights and lucrative perks normally associated with that term).

When the firm moved to Jacksonville (jeez, a person could get a complex), I declined their offer to relocate, and went to work for a dot-com software firm. Working on contract as software project manager for some local dot-com startups, I witnessed perhaps some of the most ridiculous business decisions imaginable - those were heady days indeed. As in, those dot-com guys all used to work in head shops.

This local firm I worked for was eventually purchased by west coast software giant, Commerce One. They bought us to build an army of road warriors to install their source-to-pay B2B platform. Sorry guys, I'm a lover, not a fighter. And they paid an exorbitant price - like, 20 times what we were worth. All the execs left within 6 months, taking their millions and heading for higher ground. We went out of business within a couple of years. Big surprise there.

Anyway, I left before they really hit freefall, and tried to start my own business by taking their biggest client. Yep, burned that bridge right to the ground. At any rate, it never panned out.

And so, here I am. Just look at me now.