Muchas Gracias, Hermana

The Academy wishes a joyous Christmas to all those who celebrate our GDP. More and more each year, the holiday seems to resemble fiscal year-end contract cramming from my corporate days. I'll be glad when this one is in the books. I'm sorry, but the joy in the children's eyes would look a lot better if there were more joy in the Academy's endowment.

So, today marks the day when the Christmas tree begins to go up. More shift work looms ahead. We have a very strict approach to the tree here - no kids are allowed to touch it as it goes up, or after it is complete. How did I get to this place? When I was a kid the tree went up with the misguided efforts of 7 Ritalin candidates throwing time-worn ornaments and tinsel at it. Now, it goes up in carefully crafted stages of lights (small white, non-blinking only), ribbon phase I, ribbon phase II, raffi, floral spears, eucalyptus, dried fruit, beaded ornaments, angelic cherub ornaments, bulbous ornaments, paper ornaments, and then, finally, several time-worn sentimental ornaments that I struggle against a tide of protests to locate in the back of the tree, out of sight. Last year, a number of students, aligned with the headmistress, threatened to create a splinter group with their own tree. And that is how the time-worn ornaments landed a prime spot in the front of the tree, under the crisp glare of several carefully-placed halogen spotlights.

On a different note, the Academy wishes to dispel recent rumors of holiday impropriety on the part of its headmaster. It has come to our attention that certain individuals, whom shall remain nameless (except they live in upstate New York), have been spreading stories about our headmaster. The stories vary, but the theme remains constant - at gatherings of friends and relatives, he is fond of saying goodbye to his guests and/or hosts in a manner that leaves them agape, agog, and otherwise stunned as he bends with his backside to them, drops his pants to his ankles and leaves them with the lasting memory of his bare behind. In fact, there are several unauthenticated photographs of said guests, mouths agape, basking in the warm glow of the headmaster's gluteous reflection.

These rumors are simply not true. The pants are only dropped to mid-cheek.

Yesterday, the Academy received a special holiday delivery from these same upstate New York zealots. It is a statue of a talking Santa Claus, on a pedestal. Push the button, and he speaks, turns his backside to the unsuspecting holiday reveler, and drops his pants. The students here love it. Two of these students are 2 and 4 years old, and the other two are 7 years old. Teaching them such behavior, and using a cultural icon that represents childhood innocence and wholesome goodness. Special night? Beard that's white? Milk and cookies? See, I'm just saying.... maybe the headmaster isn't the bad influence around here? Thanks, sis.




On the subject of full moons, the headmaster wishes to submit, for the approval of the Budget and Appropriations Committee, his Christmas wishlist of a Maksutov-Cassegrain 102mm telescope. This morning's moon was fantastic. The picture below was taken with the naked camera at full 40x zoom. With some Nikon binoculars held in front of the lense, one can actually pick out rock formations, craters, and a shocking amount of detail. However, it is impossible to hold them steady enough for a good photograph.