Brake Pads and Gumdrops

Normally, I pay way too much for stuff. Never been a good shopper, no sir. It runs in the family. We're all lousy with money. A few recent examples come to mind (and these are the simple, non-interest-bearing variety).

Recently, the Washington Post contacted me to inform me that they intended to print one of my many letters to the editor. So when I stopped the next morning at the gas station (of course, there is no such thing as a gas station anymore - only grocery stores that also happen to sell gas), I started the pump then ran inside to purchase the morning edition of the Washington Post. Behind the counter was a new trainee who knew perhaps less English than I know Spanish. Directly ahead of me in line was a hungry contractor with conceivably the most complicated transaction in convenience store history. The collision was unavoidable, and spectacular. By the time they'd cleaned up the mess and I finally paid my twenty-seven cents for the paper, the total back at the pump was $87. Since I'd planned to purchase only $15 of gas, I figure that morning edition of the Washington Post cost me seventy two dollars. And they didn't even print my letter.

Recently, I'd taken the man-truck to the dealership for scheduled maintenance. I really think there is a typo in the owner's manual though, because the only thing you get when you take your car to the dealership for "scheduled maintenance" is unscheduled maintenance - things like "breather valves" and "ballast resistors" and "adamantium condensers". Whatever. So the dealership informs me that the vehicle requires new brakes. Stange, since it only has 40k miles on it, but what the hell, it sounds better than a valve job. Except the price was $750. I began to figure I could save hundreds of dollars by doing the job myself. So I went to the parts counter instead, and purchased the necessary parts for $179. At home, I got the front wheels taken apart, removed the rotors, and took them to the local machine shop to have them turned (don't ask - its like a shave). They informed me that only the dealer could turn them. I took them to the dealer. They informed me that they lacked the equipment to turn these high-tech rotors. Um.... excuse me, but weren't you just trying to SELL me a brake job? How would you have dealt with the rotors? "We would have replaced them." Well, that explained the price tag, but I wasn't buying it. So I begged and they turned them on the low-tech equipment for $75, but refused to guarantee the work. I finished the job, and drove around for weeks with the satisfied smile of one who'd just saved hundreds of dollars. Except after several weeks, every time I applied the brakes the vehicle would shake to the point where all occupants' teeth would chatter. So I returned to the dealership and got the work done correctly. Not bad - a $750 brake job for over a thousand dollars.

Every Christmas, I purchase the largest poinsettias I can find and put them in the front window with spotlights on them. This year I bought some from Home Depot of all places. I was so proud that I'd found these enormous poinsettias for just $18 each. Except that the Academy's mascot got into them, and several trips to the veterinarian later, we were able to bring the kitty back to life from comatose toxic shock. Two poinsettias? Five hundred thirty four dollars.

Hey, the list goes on and on.

But today was the exception. Today the entire student body of the Academy went on a holiday field trip to build gingerbread houses at another regional school. We had the best time, and it cost us nothing. You might think that a such a party, put on for small children, might be held in a dark basement with card tables and wooden benches, bags of gumdrops placed unceremoniously on the tables. And you would be wrong. This party was prepared by perhaps the world's most gracious host, and it was phenomenal - magical. The table was set for a king, with dozens of silver bowls filled with different types of candy and assorted house-building goodies. There was food and drink for the adults. Christmas scents and Christmas music filled the air. What a treat for adult and child alike.


Morning edition of the Washington Post - $72
Brake job for the man truck - $1,004
Two holiday poinsettias - $534
Sharing good times with good people - Priceless