Church-goin' fool...

I am devout, in my own strange way, but I avoid the church as one might seek to avoid the Bubonic Plague. I don't shrink from Divine judgement - its judgement from imperfect mortals such as myself that gives me heartburn.

Notwithstanding, this morning for the first time in 10-15 years I went to church. The headmistress has been wanting to find one since taking the helm at the Academy, and for some reason, we picked this cold and rainy morning to venture forth. The church is only blocks from the Academy, and it was the first service since construction began nearly a year ago. I was drawn in by, of all things, the aesthetic of its post-and-beam architecture. Certainly not the most noble of motivations, but hey, it got me into the pew, drinkin' the kool-aid. It felt as though I'd never left. Looking around at the congregation, so neatly dressed and sporting their behavioral "Sunday best", I couldn't help but wonder why all these seemingly perfect people had come to church today. Presumably to save me.

So I admit I'm not a big fan of the church - any church. And let me just say that I KNOW its all me, that my cynical distaste for the church is just another sharp flaw in an overflowing quiver. I know that most of the people there are sincere, and that they derive mutual benefit from the weekly fellowship. Maybe its my Catholic upbringing, or maybe I just don't like hypocritical, judgemental preaching, of the holier-than-thou variety. Yeah, I remember getting lots of that.

I can't say that today's experience has greatly improved my outlook. But churches sure are lovely. Maybe if I just keep going for the aesthetic stimulation, I will eventually drink enough kool-aid to be transformed. Now that would be dialectic poetry.