Honey, I Numbed The Audience

I'd have been a lousy cow. I don't like lines, I don't like being herded, and I don't like doing anything in unison with everyone else. So Disney has been interesting, from that perspective.

The boys loved a 3-D show called "Honey, I Shrunk The Audience". Its a cute take on the movie series, and it has some funny surprises. But getting there was something of a non-conformist's nightmare.

Any cynic worth his salt and vinegar will know that when something is sponsored by Kodak, its best to run in the opposite direction. But here, they have you by the mouse ears. First, we were herded into a carpeted auditorium with several large video monitors. There were no chairs, so you basically stood shoulder-to-shoulder, facing the monitors. That's when they tell you the real show is through the doors to the left, but first they intend to show you something by its sponsor, Kodak. !%$#@! Too late to turn back now.

Dim the lights, and queue the sappy music - you are about to be numbed. It is virtually impossible to look away. Its like having cheese whiz shoved down your throat. And speaking of gagging, it was at this point that the family in front of us decided to share a moment of their lives, as they bent down to change a diaper.

When we'd finally had a sufficient dose of smarm, they herded us into the theater, told us what we could and could not do, where to sit, and when to put on our glasses.

Doin' the Macarena, Disney style.