Calvert Tracks!

Well, this evening we finally found an interesting approach for the Calvert materials - a game called "Calvert Tracks".

Simply lay out a track, complete with obstacles and ramps, then take a small billiard ball and roll it with great speed in an attempt to keep it on the track long enough to hit the target at the end.

This approach works best if you happen to be wearing a Mr. Incredible or Human Torch costume.

Sleep, Sweet Sleep

I could love you
as dry roots love rain.
I could hold you
as branches in the wind
brandish petals.

       Let your heart look
       on white sea spray,
       and be lonely.

   - Carl Sandberg


Alas, though I try to love Calvert, Calvert ain't lovin' me back.
Today:

Second Grade. Lesson Manual. Lesson 2, Page 8. Turn to the Math Manual, Page 6. Locate the Red/Blue bird punch-outs on page 333 in the Calvert Math textbook. snore... snore... snore...

This material is the "Lunesta" of education. I find these early morning naps, while untimely, are actually quite satisfying.

Once we got started on today's program though, "Mr. Eclectic" quickly took over and got us waaaaay off track. The lesson plan called for reading a short autobiography that focused on Benjamin Franklin's invention of the bifocals. One thing led to another, and soon we were thick into the Tao of manufacturing. We talked about the problem that prompted Franklin to invent the bifocals, and extended that thought into the following corollary:

Every invention begins with a problem.

We discussed the problem of toddlers constantly spilling drinks, and made up a mock invention of a sippy-cup (an object with which I am all too familiar these days, sigh..), and did some role-playing that allowed Kyle's factory to walk off with all the profits of Josh's idea. Then we set up a mock patent office, and replayed our scenario with Josh taking Kyle to court to recoup his losses. We talked about patent lawyers and patent writing, about concise descriptions of ideas, etc. etc. We talked about prototypes and negotiations with manufacturers, and on and on and on, completely chewing up our two-hour allotment.

So where does this leave us? I LOVE this kind of instruction, and I think its what distinguishes homeschooling and gives it such an advantage over traditional schooling. But.... its also what keeps me up at night.

So here's what I plan to do. Tonight, when I'm staring intently at a cottage-cheese ceiling that desperately need updating, I will break out the Calvert Lesson Plan, and soon...

"Sweet dreams of pleasant streams
By happy, silent, moony beams!"

Calvert, by Prescription Only

Ok, no more Mr. Nice Guy. I've been doing this homeschool thang too long to still be on the "eclectic" path. I mean, its been fun and all, but the thought of crossing an item off my list of stuff that keeps me up at night really appeals to me. I'm tired of sweating bullets, wondering if my kids are missing that one thing that will determine whether they go into engineering, or become "building engineers". I mean, what if writing cursive makes the difference?

So today, I made good on a promise to myself, and broke out the Calvert program that I'd "won" on eBay.

Second Grade. Lesson Manual. Lesson 1, Page 6. Turn to the Math Manual, Page 5. Locate the Red/Yellow punch cards on page 332 in the Calvert Math textbook. snore... snore... snore...

By that point a two-hour nap was really unavoidable. Each manual in the Calvert program should have a label on the front cover: "Warning! After adminstering Calvert, do not engage in any activity that requires complete alertness, such as driving a car or operating machinery." Anwyay, we finally got underway around noon. It went swimmingly, although even I was bored to tears by the end of our class, which lasted the better part of 2 hours. I've seen that glazed-over look in students' eyes before, but generally its been in a smoke-filled passageway under the varsity bleachers.

So we began to learn writing in cursive. I have fought this one tooth and nail with the headmistress. I haven't written in cursive since the "excuses from home" that I used to forge in grade school. I suppose if the Academy's students ever need to do that, then I certainly want them to be prepared.

Now if I could only find a way to make it more exciting. Hmm... What if we combined the Calvert Writing Program with some foreign language instruction. Say... German.

Former Man Room

All this discussion of the new Man Room has made me long for my favorite room in our old house in Bowie. Sigh....

Life's Instrument Cluster

The driver of any vehicle in the Academy's fleet basks in the warm glow of the illuminated "Maintenance Required" warning sign. I've begun to use it as a sort of map light.

I suppose it as good a barometer of one's situation as any. If you drive with that light constantly on, chances are that more than just your vehicle requires maintenance.

Hey, at least this one vehicle has more than a quarter tank of gas.

The Man Room

Construction has begun on the faculty's "Man Room". If all goes according to plan, the completed 13x16 room in the basement of the main building will feature brick walls with gas sconces, weathered plank flooring and two overstuffed leather chairs. Off the right side of the room is a door leading to a small workshop. Off the left side of the room, through French doors, is a wine room with wet bar, dishwasher, humidor and bottled beer cooler. Completion is scheduled for sometime in mid-2018.

Josh and Kyle were asking about it, so I tried to help them "visualize" the Man Room by saying things like "Well first NO GIRLS are allowed in there, and it will have big dogs in it, and football on the tv, and soccer posters on the wall, and root beer in the fridge, and we can burp and spit in there if we want." Whereby Kyle chimed in "Yeah, and we can lick each other on the tongue!"


Okaaaaaay. Awkward silence.

I asked him where in the world he got that thought. His reply: "Well, guys do gross things, and that's a gross thing."

Later, I overheard him telling his niece that she should stay out of the Man Room or she might slip on our spit. Good point, hadn't thought of that. The Academy certainly wishes to avoid any situation that might spawn a lawsuit. I'll adjust the plans to include a spit trough.

Diary of a Mad Housestudent

The latest list from Kyle features items he will sell in his toy store.

I mean, what kind of toy store is this?! Who would sell cigarettes, pipes and cigars, without also selling beer?

Sigh.. I'm wondering, at what point does a headmaster intervene on these "lists"? I suppose it is at least encouraging that on the very next page he drew a respectable likeness of the headmaster.

C'est what?

The Academy wishes to address some confusion regarding its follically-challenged headmaster. It is not a comb-over, it is a faux finish. The former is tonsorial sleight-of-hand. The latter is art.

Mission Accomplished

The students of BBA look forward to Thursdays. The faculty, not so much.

On Thursdays the Academy participates in an exchange program with nearly thirty regional schools. We load all the students, all the faculty, and the entire contents of the Academy and its grounds into the man-truck bus and head to the campus of the Cornerstone Assembly. There, the students of these regional schools run inside to network and socialize, while the faculty shuffle around the parking lot unpacking the entire contents of their home facilities with zombie-like efficiency. It may be called the greatest single-day transfer of schooling materials in the history of education.

The Academy is particularly excited about Thursdays because it sponsors a photography class. Today we spontaneously came up with a mission statement for the class:

We take unusual photographs of ordinary subjects, rather than ordinary photographs of unusual subjects

That, my friends, is one philosophically and grammatically profound digital photography class mission statement. The students were duly impressed. We do have our moments.

One of the photography students, 14 years old, took the photograph above for last week's assignment. With a simple click of a button, she positively made our week.

The endowment gets a boost.

Beyond the eyes
into one's soul
Look through each window
let yourself go


This morning, the Academy received a generous donation of six window frames. It won't pay for a full MLB package, but it will help us get creative with some construction projects.

So what's a headmaster to do with such a contribution? Grab a nail gun and start building? Use a sawzall to cut some holes in a wall? Take some photos and pair them with poetry? (sound of needle scratching across a record)

Ok, so I'm sure I broke some section of the "guy code" with that one. Any minute now, Burt Reynolds will come screeching through the East entrance in a black Trans Am.

No problem.    Mr. Reynolds, meet the "guy fridge".

Who's Anatomy?

The Academy does have a television, but I think its hard-wired into the Food Network, since that's the only thing ever on it. (Unless there is a Red Sox game, but since the media budget didn't provide for the full MLB package, and since it is the post-season and they are, well, the Sox, that's almost never.)

Grey's Anatomy. Doesn't the title refer to a female doctor? Sounds.. promising. But for all I know its a show about the function of spleens.

Television puzzles me. I mean, why can't those orange juice guys keep the shelves stocked? Haven't they heard of warehousing? Don't they own a truck? Do all orange grove workers really resemble corporate executives doing weekend yardwork? Maybe its just me, but the thought of reaching through some bushes for a carton of fresh orange juice weirds me out.

Anyway, originally published in 1918, the real Gray's Anatomy was a ponderous volume containing more than 1,200 engravings of the human body. I've looked at them all, and Allison Shepherd's anatomy wasn't featured on a single one. Hm... maybe I will have to watch an episode or two.

What's in your fridge?

A roving band of Vikings/Visigoths/Huns has run amok in my neigborhood. They tear across my freshly-mowed lawn and into my garage, intent on destroying everything in their path. They picked a poor target - my garage is already destroyed. Just as they approach the entry door, I open the "guy refrigerator", and the contents stop them dead in their tracks. Flash forward through the remainder of this blog-o-mmercial, and as they leave my yard one of them looks into the camera and yells "What's in your refrigerator?

Hey, it could happen!

Lacking for material this evening, I volun-told the Academy's music director that he'd be tonight's guest blogger. So of course, the subject is "beers in my fridge". We went out to the "guy fridge" and selected one of each brand. Without further ado, today's guest blog from Ryan, who describes each selection.

Old Speckled Hen: An English Pale Ale, ABV of 5.20%. Amber in color, it has a smooth mouthfeel with a slightly bitter finish.

Guinness Draught: The Classic Irish Dry Stout at 4.20%. It posseses a thick creamy mouthfeel with little to no carbonation and a dry finish. Best served at aprox. 50 degrees.

DogFish Head 90 Minute IPA: American double IPA at 9.00%. Pours a hazy amber with a thick syrupy mouthfeel and strog hop finish. For serious "Hop Heads" only.

DogFish Head Shelter Pale ale: American Pale ale at 5.00%. A Crisp, Smooth APA with a medium body and slight hop finish.

Troegs Troegenator DoppelBock: A semi-sweet syrupy Double Bock with hints of caramel. At 8.20% it is best served only slightly chilled at aprox. 50 degrees.

Magic Hat Blind Faith: An English IPA at 5.90%. A relatively smooth IPA with a nice rounded hop finish. Great session beer.

Victory Ten Year alt: Altbier at 8.50%. A medium thick mouthfeel with well balanced hops and medium body.

And there you have it. Beers in our 'fridge. Don't you feel the urge to fill a liter mug, raise it up high and shout "I Love Strudel!"